


everything

by lavenderlotion



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Charles Xavier in a Wheelchair, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27473608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: “Charles, I’ve heard a lot of bullshit come out of your mouth, but I am not in the mood for it tonight.”
Relationships: Hank McCoy/Charles Xavier
Comments: 24
Kudos: 49
Collections: Secret Mutant Madness 2020





	everything

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [citrinesunset](https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrinesunset/pseuds/citrinesunset) in the [secret_mutant_madness_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/secret_mutant_madness_2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Canonverse. Charles and Hank have been together for years, both running the school together and being partners in private. But they haven't defined their relationship or their commitment to each other. At some point, something changes and they have to address what they mean to each other.

“Hank?” Charles called, wheeling through the doorway to his rooms as he kept an eye out for the other man. 

He’d been absent from dinner, something not all too unusual on its own, but when Charles went to check the lab to see what experiment had stolen Hank’s attention, he was nowhere to be found. While it was almost commonplace for Hank to miss meals because his attention had been captured by science, it  _ was _ uncommon for him to miss meals for any other reason. The two of them, as Headmaster and the first, founding teacher, did their utmost to ensure they were around the students as much as possible. 

Which was why Charles was currently searching the other man out. 

Hank hadn’t been in his classroom when Charles went to check, an hour or so after dinner had finished, when he had finally managed to tear himself away from the sitting room a portion of the students had retired to after their meal. Not all the students spent time in the common rooms, but Charles liked to be around for those who did. A few had questions with homework and a few had stories to share, and Charles hadn’t wanted to rush any of them. 

Now, however, Charles was trying to keep down his mounting worry as he searched for Hank. He cast an eye around their room, eyes catching on the discarded tie hanging off the back of the armchair and the sweater tossed carelessly across the floor. A frown pulled at Charles’ face, weighing down his brow as the doors quietly swung closed behind him thanks to the spring-loaded-hinges Hank had set up. 

The door that led into the bedroom was ajar, even though they often kept it closed during the day. There was an open door policy to their chambers, and any student could come in so long as they knocked and waited a moment before entering. Because of that, the door to their bedroom stayed closed—and at times locked—so they wouldn’t have to deal with children wandering in on things they shouldn’t. 

And after years of that, it was habit to keep it closed even if one of them was in there. 

At one point, Charles would have cast his mind out to find Hank. He was much more selective with his telepathy now, especially with the number of students they housed, and so he wheeled apprehensively to the door. There was a strange weight in his chest that he didn’t like, not for the way it was mixing with the worry in his gut. 

He took a deep breath before he pushed the door open enough to get himself through, and he only pushed himself forward once before he let himself come to a stop. 

Hank... was there, sitting on the edge of their bed, shoulders bowed forward and head resting in his hands. He looked exhausted, from the glimpse of pale skin Charles could see, though what worried Charles most was the shade of his complexion. It was almost odd to see, as Hank had been spending substantially more time in his furrier form the last few years. It was all at the urging of an angel of a little boy named Kurt, who had been absolutely delighted to find out Hank could be blue, just like him. 

“Hank?” Charles whispered, unable to put any more volume behind his words at the sight of his lover. 

Charles was left waiting with bated breath, wondering what, if anything, was about to happen. Nothing in Hank’s form changed—he’d obviously heard Charles call his name when he first came into the room—but the air seemed to grow heavier as Charles watched him. 

He was unable to look away.

“Did you know?” 

Hank didn’t look up. His shoulders, already tensed, didn’t move. But when he spoke, his voice was a rough growl that made Charles flinch. 

Worry made his stomach ache, and he forced cold fingers to push himself forward until there were only a few feet between them. Keep his voice as gentle as he could, Charles asked, “Did I know what?” 

Hank snorted, though he finally looked up. His eyes were rimmed red and the near-translucent skin under them was puffy. Despite the sound he’d made, there was nothing close to humour on his face. “Did you know?”

Charles shook his head, and said, “Darling, you’ll need to be a little more specific. Did I know what?”

Hank studied him so intensely that Charles shifted guiltily in his seat, despite not feeling guilt for anything. Hell, he had no idea what Hank was going on about. 

“Erik is coming back,” Hank whispered, so quiet that Charles would have missed it if he wasn’t leaning forward in his seat and focused solely on the man before him. 

At the whispered accusation—because there was no way Hank intended anything else with the venom laced through his tone—Charles leaned back in his chair and blinked slowly. “Ah... I—yes, I did know that?”

Hank snorted again, but it was just as humourless as the first time. “Oh, that’s fucking fantastic.”

“Hank...” Charles started, unsure where to go or what to say in the face of his lover’s anger. Anger that was pouring off of him so heavily that even with the strongest of shields Charles had ever maintained, it still slipped into his awareness. 

“Don’t ‘Hank’ me, Charles!” Hank snapped suddenly, sitting up stock-straight as if he had been shocked. There was even more venom in his voice now, and Charles flinched back from his anger on a decades-old instinct. “You knew and you... what? You were just going to keep lying to me?”

Horrifically out of his depth and having absolutely no idea what in the world was going on, Charles slowly said, “Hank, I have not lied to you about anything.”

Something complicated flashed across Hank’s face, but Charles had loved the man for half a decade and knew how to read him. Hank was as furious as he was devastated, and Charles had no idea what had caused either. He stared at the man before him and tried his very best to come up with a single reason why Hank was upset, but came up empty. 

Yes, Erik was coming back. Nearly ten years after he’d left them on that beach, the stubborn idiot had decided they could change more together than apart. Not only was Erik coming to the school, but he was bringing with him a horde of young mutants who deserved to know something more than a fight. 

Was Hank angry that Charles had accepted them without discussing it with him? Hank had, countless times, recruited students to the school without asking Charles. Maybe it was the expansion Charles had begun drafting up plans for whenever Erik arrived—they both knew they needed to make the school bigger, and having a man who could control metal would significantly cut down on construction costs. 

“... Charles, I’ve heard a lot of bullshit come out of your mouth, but I am  _ not  _ in the mood for it tonight.”

Charles blinked slowly, mouth dropping at the anger in Hank’s words. He wanted to react with his own anger—Charles  _ hadn’t _ lied about anything! Erik had called him that morning to tell him that he was going to be coming to the school and bringing with him a class-full of students, and both he and Hank had a day’s worth of teaching to get through before they saw one another. 

Charles’ lunch break had been spent getting things arranged, and he hadn’t had the  _ chance _ to tell Hank. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t or that he wasn’t planning on doing so, and there was absolutely nothing that he had done today that could be counted as  _ lying. _

So why the hell was Hank so angry? Had Hank expected him to turn away young, innocent mutants? Charles wracked his mind trying to figure out what Hank could possibly be so incensed about, but came up with nothing. 

He took another deep breath, and forced down everything that so much as resembled anger as he focused on the man he loved. “I’m sorry that I hurt you, darling, truly. But Hank... I genuinely hadn’t thought it a big deal. I was busy today, both with class and getting things ready for Erik’s arrival. I was going to tell you tonight, during dinner.”

“How would this  _ not _ be a big deal?” Hank asked him, throwing his hands out as if he just couldn’t contain himself any longer. 

“I... honestly don’t know?” Charles told him helplessly, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s Erik, Hank. He’s bringing a class full of students—”

“That’s the problem!” Hank erupted, jumping to his feet before he slumped back onto the bed with a heavy noise that made Charles’ heart ache. “It’s  _ Erik, _ Charles.”

“I know you two never got along—”

Charles didn’t get to finish, however, because Hank cut him with a snapped, “You don’t know anything, Charles.”

“Then will you tell me?” he pleaded, feeling desperate and horribly lost and horrifically guilty for making Hank feel so bad. Hank snorted at him, but Charles wheeled himself closer and hesitantly placed a hand on Hank’s knee. “I’m being serious, my love. You’re right, I don’t understand why you’re so bothered by Erik coming to the school. So tell me? Please?”

Hank looked at where Charles’ hand was on his knee with a look on his face that he couldn’t read. Charles  _ itched _ to reach out with his mind and soothe Hank’s anger, but he wouldn’t do such a thing without permission, not anymore. More than anything, he just wanted to make it better.

“You love him,” Hank whispered, and Charles was so taken aback his mind went completely blank. 

What? 

It took several slow minutes that dragged out into an eternity before Charles was able to muster up a very weak sounding, “I... what?”

Hank finally looked up, and his eyes shone with unshed tears. There was a tenseness across his face that Charles ached to see, and his heart nearly crumbled inside his chest when Hank weakly told him that, “You love him, and now he’s coming back, and you’re going to leave me.”

The remaining fragments of Charles’ torn up heart fell right out of his chest at Hank’s words. He made a hurt noise from somewhere deep in his throat as his own eyes began to burn.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Charles said weakly, completely unable to make sense of Hank’s words even as they echoed over and over again, impossibly loud as his ears rang with the silence deafening him. 

“I... I know that you’re just passing time, Charles. I understand. I—”

“Please stop talking,” Charles begged, his stomach rolling over with disgust. He had to cover his mouth to bite back the bile that rose, and he closed his eyes tightly, desperately, trying to make sense of what the man he loved was saying. “I... you think that? That I don’t love you?”

Hank wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I believe that you love me.”

“But?” Charles asked, since it was implied enough to hang in the air between them.

“But you love Erik more.”

“Hank... I may have loved Erik once,  _ years ago, _ but I’ve loved you nearly every day for the last five years.” 

“I’m not an idiot, Charles, I—”

“You took care of me. You helped me learn to  _ live _ as half a man,” Charles held up his hand to cut off Hank’s protest and gave him a stern look, “and when Erik left, you  _ stayed. _ You helped me start this school. Hank McCoy, you gave me a  _ future _ when I couldn't see anything more than the past. How could you possibly think I love anyone more than you?”

“You’ve... we’ve never—” Hank was right, wasn’t he? They’d never spoken about their future, or, Charles realized with a start, what they were. 

Charles wracked his mind and attempted to recall the last time they spoke about what they were to each other, and he came up with nothing. Charles loved Hank with every fibre of who he was. He knew Hank loved him just as much. But... did Hank not know? Was Hank... did Hank think Charles didn’t love him like he did? 

Clearly not, for the way that Hank looked up at him with something small and hopefully on his face, something that broke Charles’ heart all over again. 

“Oh, my love, I am so incredibly sorry if I haven’t made this clear over the last few years, but I am wholly and irreversibly in love with you,” Charles told him firmly, hoping against hope that the truth of his statement would bleed into his voice and make it heard, and then deciding that hope wasn’t enough and pressing the truth into Hank’s mind. 

Hank’s eyes went wide before fluttering shut, and Charles watched, entranced, as he tipped his head back and a soft smile spread across his face as he drew Charles’ mind further into his own. 

“I love you too,” Hank said weakly, and he came forward when Charles reached for him, slipping off the bed and onto his knees. 

Hank’s hands were warm when they cupped his face, his fingers reaching back behind Charles’ ears. When they kissed, it was so gentle that Charles  _ hurt, _ all the way to toes he couldn’t feel. Their lips fit together as well as they had for years and Charles kissed him with all the promises he had thought didn’t need to be said, all the words he’d thought Hank already knew, and the  _ vows _ he urged to speak but hadn’t thought he should.

He kissed Hank with everything that he was, everything that he had been, and everything that he would ever be, because Hank _was_ everything. He was everything to Charles, and he _hadn’t_ _known_ that. 

“There’s never going to be anyone else. My love, I thought you knew that,” Charles said against his lips, kissing him  _ harder _ as if he could seal the vow in something as simple as a kiss. 

Hank kissed him back, fingers wrapping themselves up in Charles’ hair in a way that made him breathless. It felt so good, too good, and Charles gasped as he reached forward to touch Hank back, to keep them connected,  _ needing _ to feel him under his hands. 

“Darling, don’t cry,” Charles whispered, pleaded,  _ begged, _ his voice breaking as he wiped tears from Hank’s cheeks and kissed him again. 

But Hank laughed, and kissed him back, and told him, “Happy tears, Charles.”

“Good,” Charles murmured decisively, moving back in for another firm kiss. 

Charles could deal with tears of joy, and, as he tipped his head back to capture Hank’s upper lip between his teeth just to hear the low noise it would pull from his lover’s throat, he vowed to do everything in his power to ensure Hank never shed any other type of tear for the rest of their lives. 

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> kudos aren’t the same as getting a comment, not even close. so a comment, as short and sweet or as sprawling and sporadic as you can manage, would be _greatly_ appreciated! don't know what to comment? how about _”this was great!”_ or _“awesome work!”_
> 
> i run an 18+ x-men discord server! check it out [here!](https://discord.gg/pebvUEnWB6)


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